Monday, April 30, 2012

A Milestone And An Awesome Evening

Wasn't gonna say it, but I have to. Just passed the 5,000 mark for hits and in only one and a half years.


Now, onto a really wonderful evening. For awhile now, a writing buddy and I have been discussing getting together and sharing our stuff. I finally called her this afternoon and she came over tonight. 

I printed out the first chapter of 'Blue' and she read it aloud. It was quite an experience. The few times she hesitated as she read I noted. These parts might need some tweaking. She stumbled over one of the names and I've decided to an an 'n' to it. That should help the pronunciation. She loved my dialogue. 

Oddly, and this is the second time this has happened, she felt I should start the story further down from where I have it beginning. About the same place another person has told me to start. I'm having ambiguous feelings about this. I love the first part and yet I can see why they think I should cut that part out (use it someplace else) and start in this other place. It really is where the action starts. And isn't that what I've read in advise places? So I really have to look at it, painfully, and consider changing it. 

She bowled me over with the beauty of her prose. I read her first chapter and sat with mouth agape. She writes description magnificently. I fell in love with her character immediately. Though he doesn't speak for the whole first chapter, the way she describes him and his actions and his 'quirks' endeared him to me. I can't wait to read more. She has a fluidity to her chapter. *blush* She said the same of mine.

I can't wait til we meet next week for chapter two of both works. Mine ended on a cliffhanger and she wants to know what happens next. And her character is so cute and lovable that I have to see what happens next.

It was such a delight, for both of us, to be able to share about writing, and our characters and stories, and not be told, 'that was nice,' in that deprecating voice. The level of enthusiasm about writing lifted us both far into the heavens. It was an awesome evening. We laughed quite a lot.

Life is incredible.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

To Sleep Or Not To Sleep

I truly hate it when the Muse sits on my chest when I'm in bed, trying to sleep. She does it way too often. Last night, I lay in my really nice and comfy bed and tossed and turned as she bedeviled me. 

It was worth it. I finally acquiesced and got out of bed and went to my computer. I leave it on. What's the use of turning it off? 

I needed to name 'my' world. I've been skirting the issue for months. The Muse would stand for it no longer. That meant changing some of the kingdoms' names. Research takes a bit of time. I do not change names haphazardly. I looked for the origin of the name I chose and then went from them, finding people and city names that would match. It took a good couple of hours.

After that, I had to go back and re-read the whole story. To make sure the changes (I used the computer's find/replace feature)... to make sure the changes were correct. I found a couple where I had to change the city's name, but it worked out. 

Needless to say, since I'm at a word count of over 45,000 it has taken quite some time. I'm up to Chapter 30. I'll finish it today, but I've got to get outside. There is blue sky and bright sunshine!

Life is sunny.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Into The Fray

I have caught up with my editing, thank goodness! Well, for now at least. Editing is one of those things that can be like the everlasting gobstoppers in Willy Wonka's factory. You can suck and chew and nibble and never finish the thing. That's the beauty of having an editor who says, "Stop. Send it out." 

I had a few scenes that folks thought should be deleted. I felt they still needed to be in the story, so I moved one or two. I think it works. That's one of the many things about getting my work critiqued. I keep telling myself: Keep my integrity. Take their comments under consideration, knowing that I am the author. Keep up my courage. The opinions of others are just that, opinions. Many times they have no clue as to why the witch is going to die under Dorothy's fallen house. We find out, along the way. Remembering to tell my readers, along the way, is something I try to keep in mind. It's not often I 'lose' a string, but I do sometimes. That's why I try to keep writing my quickie synopsis while I'm going along. When I read something in the synopsis that I forgot about, I can put it in at my leisure and where I think it belongs.

Writing is such a fluid art. It's amazing to me. I continue to equate it with the other arts. They are all alike. I learn from what an artist will tell me about her paints or the light needed. I learn from a carpenter how walls not only hold up a house but give it definition. There are so many things to learn. It's an adventure everyday.

Life is fun. Period.

PS - Last night, I sent out the next chapters to my writers' group. Whoo hoo!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Spitting Nails

I hadn't realized how behind I was in editing. I 'found' an email from my editor with comments for Ch. 22-26. I had to go back and make changes. Then I had the five reviews from the last critique group. I'd read them over before and digested some of their thoughts. I made the changes I thought were important/plausible and then re-read and edited those chapters. It's taken two full days!

Now, I present in two weeks (thankfully) and must do a thorough edit of the next chapters so I can send them out tomorrow. Phew! Life is awesomely wonderful that I can present again, but I'm spitting nails and kicking myself that I didn't do this editing before. 

I thought I knew what the ending to 'Blue' was going to be, but the character, the last few days while I was trying to sleep, has told me No, I want it this way. I've stopped fighting. I know the Muse has spoken. It will be good, once I swallow my pride and a few other notions.

Writing is awesome but scary and wondrous and nerve-wracking.

Life is ya da ya da ya da.... *g*

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I Hate Reading

I'm sure you think me quite strange - a writer who hates to read. It's not really the reading I hate, to be concise, it's the not being able to stop. When I had my first child, I put away books. I found I'd read into the early morning hours and be so exhausted I'd be stumbling as I cared for her. For my daughter's sake and my own, I eschewed books. The month after I broke my back, my daughter brought me a truckload of books. I recuperated 'watching' sword fights and dragon's teeth and chivalrous deeds. As I child, I'd been told I had no imagination. Tell that to my brain as I read book after book. 

I found one such book today. It's Dragonswood and it's good. Here's a link to the author's blog and to her website.  

I would warn you away from the book, but if I can't sleep, why should you? If I can't edit, why should you? And if I can't write, why should you?

Advisers like to tell upcoming writers to read. Don't take that advise too literally. I had a great time with this one and learned a lot - hence the advise. I had researched a medieval derogatory phrase awhile back for 'Blue' and found Carey (the above author) used it. It was fun to see. I like her dragons, too. Good description. Not a lot, but enough.

Life is full of dragons.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Kill The Cat

I've done it. I've killed the cat. It was a suggestion by one of my critiquers. I did it. I'm not proud of it. 

Well, I really didn't do it. I alluded to the cat's presence and that gave me leeway to let the cat just fade away - not die. 

Once I did it, it made the chapter better. Stronger. Though I fought it, I'm glad I did it. 

Now I have a problem because the chapter is too short. I've got to 'dip into' the next chapter. Thankfully, this one didn't end on a major cliffhanger and so the impact isn't too great. 

I rewrote the chapter and find the impact is better. Where I am now ending it is a true cliffhanger and I do so love to leave my poor readers gasping. Or wanting to turn the page. And isn't that what it's all about..... 

Life is good.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Hemingway And Editing

Hemingway said one should write drunk and edit sober. I have a thought on that. One should edit while rested and strong.

The 'goof' that I spoke of yesterday was not a goof at all. It was the product of exhaustion. Thankfully, I recognized that I was too tired to make any changes. That saved the whole work. Saved me from having to undue anything I might have done.

The ages are fine. The world changed when my heroine was born, that's true. But I didn't have to add her brother's age to hers. He was born seven years later. That didn't make her twenty-one. That made her fourteen. *g*

As for today, I went to a social media workshop sponsored by Skyline Writers. The presenter was very good. She realized that most of us were there to figure out how to 'make' a website. She had us all log onto WordPress and create a blog there, and then from that website, we were able to create a website.

However -- I am not impressed with WordPress and its blog. It seems, and I might be wrong about this, that the only way to get my blog to look the way I want it to, is to pay. 

Here at blogspot, I've created a blog that I'm truly proud of. I love the mountain background. I love the columns on either side. I love having the freedom (without paying) to change fonts and colors and such.

I love my blog. I'm glad you're here with me.

Life is smile-crackingly good.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Oh Good Grief

I can't even begin to tell you how many people have read/critiqued/edited 'Blue.' And yet, tonight, as I'm going through it one more time, I discover that there is a horrendous discrepancy in ages. My heroine's supposed to be fourteen. Then her brother's born seven years later. That makes her twenty-one if I'm not mistaken. No one caught this. I've got her being fourteen. I could just about spit nails.

Don't get me wrong. I am incredibly grateful that I discovered it. Can you even imagine what it would be like having my publisher say, 'Excuse me, but what on earth are you thinking?'

This puts me in a quandary because I have the world changing when she's born. How do I solve this? 

The joys of being a writer! Honestly!!! 

I do so love a mystery. I'll probably be up all night trying to figure out how to fix this. I want the change to be when she's born, but that means I'll have to make her brother be born earlier. Hmmm. Mind's fried at the moment. 

Lying abed - awake - will help. It always does. The Muse hates for me to sleep.

Life is perplexing!

Friday, April 20, 2012

Fav Speaker and Expletives

I follow a few blogs. One of them is here.

I met the author a few years ago in Utah and just loved her talk to the SCBWI group there. I put her on my list of favorite speakers. (look to your left below the Progress thingee)...

Well, her newest book has come out and I'm just so happy for her. It's quite good. Gonna be a trilogy. I read the first book in two days and now sit on tenterhooks waiting for the next.... which will probably be at least a year. Shees! 

I much prefer finding a good series when the LAST book is published. Then, I can gorge myself on them and not have to wait. I have no patience. *g*

As for expletives - not that kind!!! I read an article in the Writer about getting rid of expletives. The author of the article said an expletive is a phrase like, 'there is' a large animal in Jim's den. To make it zippier write, A large animal roamed Jim's den - or something like that.

When I first started writing, I couldn't believe that authors spent so much time on individual words, wracking their brains for the perfect word. It seemed inconceivable to me. Now, I do it all the time. 

This article presents a furthering of that process. I think it's great. I have turned into a lover of the honed word. Now, I'll be a lover of the honed phrase/sentence/thing. 

Another little thing that I like - keeping phrases that begin with 'as' down to a minimum. They can just drag a story under.

Life is exhilarating

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Thirty-four Down.....

Only God knows how many chapters left. BUT

Whooo hooo - chapter Thirty four is done. Complete. Fine.

Yeah, Sure! The rough draft is done. I'll spend time on it the next few days honing it. It shouldn't have taken this long, but I had a difficult time picking it up again after Saturday. I don't know why I let these things bother me so, but I do. I thought I'd grown a thicker skin. 

As for the comments made.... I added some more 'color' - literally. I hadn't realized that I wasn't showing the changes in the world enough. Thankfully, it was an easy enough fix. But I had the darndest time with finding the 'right' color. Wikipedia has a great category that shows all the colors that belong to - say green. A really useful tool. I thought I was going to spend the entire night researching this, but Wiki came to the rescue. (Searching can be so frustrating sometimes.)

I deleted whole parts that really didn't need to be in the book. Tightening those subplots. But I'll not get rid of all of them. *stands defiantly*

Life is a challenge.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


I got some writing done on Sunday. I'm pretty sure the chapter is finished. I spent a lot of time in thought, instead of writing. Thinking about the comments made at Saturday's meeting.

One of the other presenters sent me a little note saying she was overwhelmed by the critique of her MS. I was glad she shared that with me. 

The problem with going to a writers' group, IMHO, is that you present parts of your work. It's really a piecemeal type of arrangement. In the group I belong to, I present usually every other month. The critiquers, I'm pretty sure, forget what's gone before. I get frustrated when they ask, why did so and so do this, and what happened here. Most times, what they're asking was explained in the chapter before.

The same is true of the questions. Is so and so going to do this? Are we going to see why so and so is going here instead of there? Things like that drive me mad, for IMHO again, that's why you keep reading, to find out the answer to those questions. 

The poor woman who wrote to me had the same experience. She hinted at things and the critiquers wanted to know what was going to happen next and why, etc. That's the mystique of the tale. That's the joy of writing.

Sometimes, writers write things that they have no idea what's going to happen next. I understand that. But I've been part of this group for over three years and so has this other woman. Where is the trust that we know what we're doing? 

Yet, I must consider their comments. What's the sense of being part of the group if I don't? I just have to swallow and accept and hope I'm doing it right.

I think that might be the crux of the matter. A wee bit of insecurity on my part. *g*

Life is beautiful if uncertain.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Time To Write

It's an absolutely gorgeous day today. 70's in April. Who'd have thunk.

I'm taking my pad (the electronic one and the handy, dandy yellow one) outside to the park by the lake and write. I've had enough with critiques and such. Got to get my poor heroine/hero to the castle to rescue her brother. She's made the decision and she's gonna change again. Only way to keep the wizards from finding them. Flynn's being an excellent friend.

Life is gorgeous.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Licking Wounds

Well, things didn't go quite as planned at the writers' meeting today. I got good feedback and some kudos. One woman suggested I was brave to be tackling the subject matter that I am in 'Blue.' Brave or stupid, I'm not sure which. It's difficult writing and she acknowledged that, which for some unknown reason, felt good.

However, a writer I admire and usually appreciate comments from, gave me a scathing look at, not the subject matter, but the number of 'subplots' in the book. He counted TWELVE. Twelve subplots. That's a lot. He said I'm losing the main theme.

I really have to laugh because, for my last book, he said I had too many characters. I made sure in 'Blue' that the character list didn't get too outlandish. 

He's right. To a degree. (Isn't everything to a degree? *g*) I will go back and take out some peripheral subplots, but most of them are important to the main plot. I'm wondering if the 'emotion' was disconcerting and that's why he picked on the subplots. I can't really know.

As I said, I plan on going back and seeing what can be removed, what is not paramount to the story line. My editor liked it all and she's pretty hard on me. I'll take both thoughts into account, do the re-read, and then decide what to do.

Luckily, I have a friend whom I can vent to. She was in Michigan, but answered her phone anyhow, thankfully. I get affirmation from her. I know she's prejudiced because we're friends, but I needed some, 'you're doing a good job,' so as not to let the discouragement of the critique pull me down too far to get back up.

Life is friendship.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Stories For Tomorrow

I've got my writers' group tomorrow. I present. I'm looking forward to it. And yet I have some trepidation about how the chapters will be looked upon.

This is the midpoint, the crux of the book, and I am hoping I've got it down right. My editor, bless her heart, aside from some changes, said it's perfect. 

We'll see what the crew thinks. I myself still have some questions. I'm dying to find out if they are shocked by the developments or if they will take them in stride.

The book is slightly controversial. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll find a publishing house. Though the subject matter is current. I'll just have to wait until that time comes and see what happens.

One of the other members is presenting her new tale. I've said it before, this writer makes my jaw drop when I read her stuff. She's only around seventeen and she writes just the best stuff ever. She doesn't finish though. I'm really hoping that, as maturity comes, so will her sense of perseverance. She's incredible.

Life is never dull.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Seeking Understanding

I heard a phrase today that really spoke to me. To paraphrase it: Readers seek understanding.

When I've taken one of my chapters, or stories, or poems to a critique group, I've found the most difficult part is when it seems that they don't 'understand' what I thought I said.

A hard experience it is to go back and read what I've written with an open mind and heart and see if they're correct. See if I have failed in making my reader understand what the scene is about, who the character really is, and why the plot is going or has gone in the direction it is.

I sometimes shudder at the thought. Yet, it is an awesome exercise in fulfilling the main tenet of why I'm writing: a story to be enjoyed, or learned from, or expand horizons. (Shees! Trying to find the spelling of tenet almost stopped me in my tracks!)

Hard work, but well worth it. I don't want to be preachy, heaven forbid, but I have learned to put aside my ego and how well I think I've done and re-read that story, look at it with a readers' eyes, and expound, change, and/or delete parts that confuse, misdirect, or hide bad writing. Don't I want a perfect story? Don't I want my readers to be engaged? Don't I want to have fun?

Life is scary.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

I'm Not Complaining

At least trying not to... But I truly hate it when the Muse wakes me up at four in the morning with a new story. It's bad enough to be woken with a new chapter of my current book... I can forgive that for it means we, she and I, are forging forward, heading hither, posting powerfully... But no, she wakes me for a new story. A horror story nonetheless. A mystery horror story. 

Now - I get really intimidated by mysteries. I love them. I love Agatha Christie especially. I've even got a friend who's a mystery writer. But for me - the very thought of attempting one is mind-jarring. I can't imagine the hoops I'd have to jump through to bring such a story to fruition.

Yet - here I am. Sitting at the computer, working on a horror mystery. Don't tell the Muse. It sounds good. She didn't give me an ending. I always like to have an ending. But the beginning is wild enough to be stunning. 

Whoo hoo! Off and running, my friends.

Life is chaos.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Nancy Drew

A friend loaned me a book about the author(s) of the Nancy Drew series. (A series of girl-detective books from around 1910ish.) A very interesting read. Seems these kinds of serial books were written by a stable of writers. Writers for hire. I've got a friend who does that. I somehow thought it was a new practice. Seems it's old. Like the 1800's.

The title is: 'Girl Sleuth. Nancy Drew and the Women Who Created Her.' There's a bunch of great info tucked away in this 2005 book by Melanie Rehak. I especially liked how cliffhangers and such were used.

I've been chided for the breakneck pace of my stories and I think I might know why I write this way. Blame it on the serials. I grew up with the Lucky Star books by Asimov (under an alias). I have to go back and re-read those books. I'll bet there's a lot of cliffhangers, slam-bang action, and fun characters. 

I think I'll not take to heart the disparagement about my writing. If I even come close to Asimov, I'm doing good.

If you get a chance, get the book. It's a great read. I learned about writing, and perseverance, and courage, and the suffrage movement, all in just a short couple days of reading.

Life is never dull.

PS - I'm still editing the stuff my editor gave me for 'Blue.'

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Being Aware Of The Smallest Things

Driving to my writers' meeting today. I saw a boy and his father. The dad was stopped while the boy carefully studied something on the ground. I marveled at the joy of finding something to rivet your interest so fully. Then I thought, I can use this moment. Then I thought, gosh, have I gone mad? Am I only ever in author mode anymore? Am I a normal person? Have I lost it?

It seems everything I do is related to writing. Sucking in life's moments and spewing them out in stories/scenes/character ideas. It's a bit disconcerting.

I hope I haven't lost sight of the fact that life is precious - whether it's included in a book or not. Naw! I'm ok.

Life is a blessing. 

Happy Easter/Passover/Spring Equinox

Friday, April 6, 2012

Lots Of Changes

Bless my dear editor. She called yesterday and said she'd like to meet and go over the last chapters I sent her. Said she loved them. That I kept surprising her. That the twists the story takes are great. She said she had few changes - only a few questions.

We met, via phone, today. 

Yikes! The questions were great. Horrid, yet great. I had two really big things that I had to change. The one I'm still not sure what to do about. I think the Muse is whispering. I'll have to listen closely.

The problem - or the good thing - is that my grammar and such is now pretty good. My editor says she doesn't even bother looking anymore. What she's doing now is concentrating on story line and continuity. Two incredibly important parts of writing. I'm so glad we've gotten past the grammar and such. I'm glad I'm getting it (and those elusive quotation marks that disappear once I send it to her. Honest! I promise. I put in quotes! *g*)

All her comments/questions were spot on. I've been mulling about changing editors, but I think she's finally getting used to the genre and I'm finally getting used to her style of editing. 

I worked on the changes today. Got a couple more to go. Things like taking a horse. I had the character take one and my editor said, better take this other character's horse. She was right. Little things that you really wouldn't think make much of a difference. But they do. Challenges like these keep me awake at night. And grateful for my editor.

Life is fun.

Thursday, April 5, 2012


I'm soooo close to finishing Ch. 34. I want to put it on the side of this page as Progress and be done with it. But I can't. It's around 1100 words and I want about another hundred or so. 

I know that probably sounds insane to some of you. I write chapters by word count. I write the basic story and then embellish. There's always things that the Muse adds. She loves to surprise me, in the midst of the chapter, with some tendril that I hadn't thought about. It works. Really it does.

This one's going to end on a minor cliffhanger. I like cliffhangers. You know. Those things that make you desperate to turn the page. They're fun to do. So this one's done. The basic premise is there. I want it a little longer. The Muse has already added a few things. I know she'll give me more. Tonight.

I'm going to quit for the day and relax my shoulders. They get stiff sometimes as I scrunch over with enthusiasm and wonder.

I did spend time working on the chapter listing. I've finally caught up. I plan to use these short synopses for my full synopsis. 

Life is wondrous.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Savor The Juices

I had a great time writing yesterday but had to quit before I wanted to. Exhaustion, coupled with an appointment, made me stop. But I did finish the one chapter and made headway on the next.

This morning I wrote about half of Chapter 34. It's going great, thankfully. (I don't worry about 'ly' when I'm writing here *g*). A lot of action, another attack, a revelation, and a tear-filled goodbye. Lots of fun! *g*

I didn't write as much on the chapter as I had wanted to. I went back to my chapter list. I'm behind on it and had to catch up. It's needed. I won't have to do as much work when I get to the synopsis because the chapter list tells me what is in chapter.

I hope to write more tonight. The little one needs to be picked up soon and I must be off. I started a part-time marketing job Sunday. It's been working out great. I do it from home and that means I must be up and on the computer around 8am. That gives me a great start to the day. Easy work. God is good.

I do so love it when the Muse and I are one. Such a feeling of accomplishment. No fears. No worries. Just tremendous creativity.

I wish you the same.

Life is awesome.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


Talk about feeling empowered! I laid in bed this morning and all I could think of was 'Blue.' The next chapter is now complete - Ch. 33. I have started Ch. 34. I've got a lot of notes already written for it. So that really means I'm about 1/4 of the way done with it. Hoping to finish it after I post this. If I do, you'll see it in the Progress part of this page. 

I had hoped that, once I moved and the legs started healing, that I might be able to hear the Muse again. She was vicious, wondrously vicious. She really wants me to write.

I had to go back. February was my last posting and I had to re-read from Ch. 29 on. Couldn't remember if she'd tried to get that blasted collar off her neck. Couldn't remember if she'd changed into a smaller creature to see if the collar would slip off. 

Once I got my bearings straight, I started writing. Felt so good. Like I was born to it. 

Which makes me wonder why it took so long for me to write. I think it might be because I've tried, for a hundred times, to keep a journal and failed. I'd try and it would work for a week or two, then I'd forget. Months or years later, I'd start again. I always used a new book, hoping that would help me to focus and continue to enter something. Nope. Failed every time.

My mother always said my older brother was the talented one in the family. That he was the creative one. Did that keep me from trying to write? Who knows? I never will. I can't use that as an excuse. I try to grow beyond what was expected of me. I'm an adult. I can't use the past to keep me from doing the things I want to. Or experimenting. Challenges. Adventures. I still quail at the thought of them, but push myself. Having the little one helps. I tell her, 'Let's go on an adventure like Bilbo Baggins.' She agrees and off we go.

Life is beyond good.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Back In The Saddle

An old cowboy colloquialism. I used to be such a huge fan of cowboy stories. Then I 'met' Paul French, aka Isaac Asimov. I was hooked on science fiction. Then, onto The Lord of the Rings. Fantasy captured me. I love it.

Getting back in the saddle... If you note, I put on the 'progress' section of this page that I sent off a few chapters to my editor. My gosh - that felt sooo good.

I had to re-read these chapters to make sure they were 'up to snuff' for her. No errors, good writing, characters in character (*g*). As I re-read, I felt good about the chapters. That is such a wonderful feeling. To like what you've written. I think it's a kind of barometer for whether my readers will like it or not. They will like these chapters. *g*

Lot of colloquialisms in this posting. My favorite....  "Tell me and I'll forget. Show me, and I may not remember. Involve me, and I'll understand."

I have to keep getting involved with other writers, other critique groups, other conferences and other blogs in order to understand. I need it for my craft, but more importantly, I need it for life.

Life is never dull.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Wish I Knew More

I was listening to someone reading 'The Charge of the Light Brigade.' I think what surprised me most is that I am vaguely familiar with pieces/parts of this poem. 'Canons to the right.' 'Theirs not to reason why.' I didn't know these came from this poem. 

We are fortunate, in this age of the internet, to be able to hear the poet himself read his piece. It's superb.

I remember  being terribly fond of the 'Wreck of the Hesperus.' Such a melancholic poem, perfect for an impressionable lass. I remember Anne, of Green Gables, recited it in the TV adaptation. I was so stirred to joy to hear an old favorite read. 

I don't know enough. When I hear things like this, I think, 'I want to read more. I want to know more. I want to live more.' It becomes a hunger deep in my belly. Sadly, or thankfully, it gradually subsides and I go back to being housewife and mother and such. But a part of me never forgets. And as another wave of want sweeps over me, I wonder if this need to learn will ever go away. I hope not. And I hope it passes on to my family.

Life is deeply felt.