Monday, June 6, 2016

Phone Call

Been a long time, dear friends. No excuses.

I pick up the phone, after procrastinating for a few days/months/years. You'll see.

Hello, ___ Condo Association.

Hello! My name is Sharron. I live in F-8. I want to file a formal complaint. Can I do it over the phone?

Of course.

Two years ago (I told you!), the landscapers cut down the roses behind my condo. They were beautiful, classic, and very old. A board member told me, 'Your neighbor said she couldn't take care of them any longer.' I spoke with the neighbor, she never gave them permission to cut them down. ( I felt tears welling/they were beautiful roses.) But never mind that, it's over and done with. Two months ago, (I told you), they cut down the lilac bush next to my condo. Besides the fact that it was a glorious lilac that people would sit in their cars and contemplate, they had not bloomed yet. Who cuts down a lilac before it blooms? 'Your landscapers,' I tell her, 'couldn't tell a rose from a hole in their heads.' Two days ago, (I'm not saying a word), they cut down my mums. Mums don't bloom till the fall. You don't cut down mums anyhow. Once in awhile, if you want them extra full, you trim them, but you never cut them down. So I want to lodge a complaint against the landscapers.

Of course. And I'll tell Todd and he'll come right over and see.

Thank you. There's more.

All right.

My dog poops in my house. Sadly, he punishes me when I leave and his pooping is his sign of rebelliousness. I am even pulling up the carpet and putting down wood floors so I can easily clean his little presents. If he surprises me, and poops while I'm walking him, I run back to my condo and get a bag and scrape up his business and put it in the proper trash container. If someone else walks him, and he leaves a present, they clean it up. You can ask all my neighbors. I grabbed my cane and walked to the hose at the back of the condo. I turned the corner and almost stepped in dog poop. There are about twenty little piles of it all behind my condo. It is not my dog. I told you about my dog. Please tell Todd about this, also.

Yes, I will and he'll come right over and see.

Thank you. Have a good day.


Now why on earth would Todd come over and look at poop. And why on earth did I start the poop conversation they way I did. My daughter said the woman on the other end must have thought I was smoking something, or so old and decrepit, I'd lost what marbles I had.

We laughed for hours after I told her about this phone call. I hope you enjoyed it, too. I am a nut. I know!