Honestly, I cannot fathom why I sometimes have to 'force' myself to write.
'Blue' has been mired as of late. I have put my energies into the giraffe tale. It's finished and ready to move into the next phase.
'Blue' is not ready. If it had its own way, it would never be ready. I think it hides from me.
Tonight, I opened the old folder and pulled up the file. There it sat, sticking its tongue out at me. But I would have none of it.
I read the last few lines that I'd written and commenced to challenge her. Worked awesome. As it always does. This waiting and not writing and procrastinating is a bunch of hooey. Stupid. I sometimes want to scream and pull out my hair when I do this.
Because every time I do force myself to write - it flows. The story is there, waiting for me, hoping I'll come back.
I'm sorry, 'Blue.' I'll try to be better.
But oh - it's so exciting to see what's next. Why do I wait? Why do I wait? Why do I wait?
Why I wait: I'm afraid of not being true to the character; I'm afraid no one will really like it; I'm afraid of drawing a blank, ie, I'm afraid.
ReplyDelete"Feel the fear, and do it anyway." Like you, once I start in, it simply seems to come, and suddenly I'm at peace and wondering why in the world I procrastinated. Maybe simply because we're flawed humans. Part of the process is overcoming that fear, and that little bit of courage shows up in our writing.
I'm asking myself the same question! It's often easier and relaxing to fall into a pattern of doing other things, but once I make myself open the file and put some words on the page -- even if I have to fight for a bit to find the right ones that get the flow started -- I never regret it and I make progress. I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to sticking to my writing deadlines, lol!
ReplyDeleteI think it is a double-edged sword.
ReplyDeleteFear is definite and that's why they are always talking about fear at conferences. No - they spin the positive side - COURAGE. Got to keep that up. It takes some growing, Judy.
Margaret - that's why we have support groups and friends. The enemy (ourselves) can be defeated with tht help of encouraging friends.
I can't tell you both how 'dear' you are to me with your support!