I cannot begin to imagine what it will be like - once my books are published.
If this is folly, then it is magnificent.
Fear used to drive me away from so many things in life. Relationships, career path, schooling, writing, sharing... It robbed me of so much. I still fear. It is a good fear now - one that I've turned to positivity. Is that a word?
One of my favorite books is The Agony and The Excstacy. It tells of the life of Michelangelo. I found great sadness in the trials that he endured on his way to greatness. I weep for those people who have reached greatness after their deaths.
And yet - can I not hope that in some place they are banqueting together, toasting one another, laughing at the folly 'label' they were branded with - works that turned into magnificence?
Life is too short to be afraid. Life is too complicated to be true to myself. And yet - that will be my magnificent folly. Whether I get published or not, whether I am considered a fool by those who are close, the important thing is that I continue to press forward with joy and full faith in the gift of writing that I have.
Writing is stupendous fun if I let it be. So, I have discovered, is the thrill of editing/revising. I can either suffer the slings and arrows - or rejoice and have a ball. Perhaps the journey towards publishing will be the same. Fool - some would say. Yet, I can and will hope that I can look at the process with sanity and joy.
Life is interesting.