Good grief. I haven't cried over my writing, or things connected with it, in a gazillion years. The one and only time I did cry was after a stinging critique. It was my first and it was brutal and it hurt. I left the conference where it happened and went home and just curled into a ball and died.
Well - I didn't stay dead for long. My Muse wouldn't let me. She's incorrigible. A stalker, even.
My frustration level is high. I feel like the laws of physics have been broken and I don't know what to do about it.
I've been trying to 'find' an editor from a publishing house to send out 'Sorrysorrysorry' to. The task seems monumental. I must be doing something wrong. I research and research. I thought I'd found someone, but it didn't work out. And now - to add to my frustration - I can't find the websites I was using to find someone. My head hurts.
I finally broke down and let the tears fall. 'Course, other things have been happening in my life, things that weaken me. But the news of the week has been courage and faith in the impossible. I keep telling myself that. Today I was weak.
Thankfully, a friend called just in the midst of my tears. She hugged me over the phone. You know how that feels. It's good. Not quite adequate, but good, nonetheless.
I'm better now. I know I'll find an editor, but I cannot believe this process is so difficult. I am probably naive, but I think finding an agent is easier than this. I'm told agents don't usually represent an author of picture books.
I printed out the last ten chapters of 'Nothing But Blue Skies' and sat on the porch in the glorious sun and reread them. Made only a couple changes. I've bolded the 'magic' words. I wasn't sure whether to italicize or bold them, but my character thinks a lot and those thoughts are italicized. I didn't want to confuse my readers, so I went with bolding.
I'm beyond satisfied with the story. Though I'm wondering if I need a couple 'rest' scenes in the midst of it all. These last ten chapters are all part of the climax and the winding down and I really want to make sure my readers are not exhausted by the time they finish reading. *g*
As for the last chapter. I've only got four pages left, but they have TWO major rewrite areas. And then I've got to make sure that the ending makes sense. I was going to have one character go off in another direction, but my editor said I should have the hero/heroine do that. Which really works well. Now, I just have to write it. *g*
Life is frustrating.
PS - I've set 14 May as the date I will finish editing the last chapter of 'Nothing But Blue Skies.' It's the feast day of Bl. Julian of Norwich. I like this woman's philosophy!