Thursday, April 21, 2011

No Expectations - Part Two of Three

I walk into the main lounge area. It is lovely and bright. White wicker chairs are pulled around the perimeter of an area rug. At least a dozen women sit about, holding drinks in their hands.

I say hello.

There is no response, though all look at me.

I expect nothing. I get nothing. I am not crushed. Thank God for no expectations. It worked this time.

The group gets up, prepared to take a walk. I am asked if I want to join them. I decline.

I find the coordinator of the week-end. She shows me to my room. I’d already viewed it online and found it charming. There is a lyre on the door that chimes every time it is opened. I love music and welcome it. There is a twin bed by the window and a daybed on the wall. I take the daybed.  The blessing of the room is that it has a private bath. Tiny. A screen hides the sink and toilet.

I sit and read the week-ends itinerary. I pull out my children’s book. It needs a couple changes. I’m excited about this book. Expectations are high.

Here we go again.

I find I can have no expectations for me – but my expectations for my writing are high. Beyond the moon. Good or bad – not sure.

Dinner is simple but tasty. I chat with the woman who stole my seat when I went for coffee.

It’s fun listening to others. I listen to the two women next to me. As they speak, I think, “These two should collaborate on a book.“ I have no idea if they knew each other before this event.

We gather for our first talk. We are to share about ourselves and what we write.

Agreement # 2: Don’t take anything personally

I am cut short by the moderator. I don’t blush, thankfully. I expect nothing.

A touch of anger runs through me. It doesn’t matter. I will get what I need from the week-end. That is my focus. It is simple. I have no expectations.

Now – if I could just let go of my work. Let it fly on its own. Or is the passion necessary?

Our first speaker shares his story. It is a good one.

As the night wears on, folk begin to go to their rooms. Some sit in the dining area writing. I take this occasion to soak in people. I spend a lot of time with a four-year old and need to be around adults. I need to broaden whom I watch and listen to.

I have a one-on-one with Les Roberts tomorrow. I already have expectations for this time. This is good practice. Really!


1 comment:

  1. Passion is definitely necessary, else why pursue?