As I sat at my writing class yesterday and listened to the moans and groans of my fellow writers, I realized that we are all in the same boat.
I read other blogs of writers. Most of them struggle with roadblocks and the world pushing into their writing time and the dog needing to be walked.
I am not alone. You are not alone. The perfect place to write is rare. The perfect time is rare. The perfect idea is rare. The perfect chapter.... Well, you get the gist. Writing's hard. It's fun. It's awesome. But it's hard. There's always something trying to pull me away from it. Or discourage me. Or tempt me to other things.
Voices in the night (during the day, at sunrise, at sunset *g*). Why on earth, I wonder, do I listen to the negative voices that rattle within my brain? Why do I become discouraged if the chapter I share is not bowed down to and received with awe? Why, when the blank page stares at me, do I not stare back, with lip curled, and say, "Ok. Give me your best shot." I know I can write. I know I can write under duress. I know I can write well. But those voices from ages past.... Will not define who I am or keep me from helping my poor heroine who is in the midst of hellfire and damnation!
Another thing that is downright frustrating. (Where's my asparagus?) Touting your work. I find it difficult. I'm not a salesperson and I don't like pushing people. But I can't think like that. The tirade the other day came about because I felt so guilty about touting. Granted, I wish I'd had the wherewithal to tell the man I met that I really liked his stuff, but there was no time. It went beyond that, though. I was embarrassed to be 'accosting' him (though I know he didn't feel accosted).
I don't want to think of what will happen at my first book signing. YES - I will have a book signing. In fact, more than one! But will my heart fall if there are only two people there? Voices - No! That won't happen.
You know my mantra is 'no expectations.' Well, I will carry that through daily. I must. I will not expect to write, but I will write. I will not expect a certain number of people at my first book signing, but I will have people there. I will not expect my book to win any awards, but I will apply for them.
I will live. I will write. I will moan on occasion. But I will live.
Life is a commitment.