What Am I?

Am I a real writer? I sometimes wonder, even without rejection letters. I think it is the perview of writers, or at least me, to think I might not write as well as I think I do. Good grief, that sounds complicated, but I think you know what I mean. I write something and think, 'This is good.' and then I put it out and immediately, honestly, if I was using ink, it would be like the ink wouldn't even be dry before I'd think, 'Yikes, maybe it's not.' After a few hours, days, months - I'd go back and reread it and think, 'Yup. It's good.' and then I'd wonder what on earth I was thinking of when I doubted myself.

I think I've been going through that as of late. Thankfully, my editor/teacher gave me a truckload of articles on writing, mostly from Writers' Digest. Let me take a moment to digress. I really like Writers' Digest. I've read other magazines that dwell on the writing career, but this one seems best, IMHO. 

These articles reconfirmed my belief in myself and in my writing ability. The first was on the way to round out a climax. Alright. Get your mind out of the porn section and think writing tools. Climax - that intrinsically important part of your story, book, article. I read the detailed article by Jeff Gerke and realized, 'Yup, I've got my climax working well. Everything leads up to it, my main character has a moment of truth (which the whole story has been pointing to), my hero affects the outcome, not vice versa, and the aftermath (the results) of the climactic moment are still playing out. 

I felt great after reading this article. Each piece in 'Blue' works as I had hoped it would. Each fits into the puzzle of the plot. 

There was a lot more sage advice in the article. Sadly, it is no longer on line, but the author has a lot of articles to share. Just click on the link and do a search for Gerke.
http://www.writersdigest.com/

I'll share another article tomorrow. Learning is never ending.

Life is affirmation.

To Write Or Not To Write

That should never be the question. If it is, I think it must mean something is totally out of whack with the universe!

I discovered I have not been carrying my trusty rusty yellow pad with me. In fact, I have a really nice leather portfolio-type thingee from a company I used to work for. I carried my yellow pad in it, my current writings, my pen, and some business cards from other writers. This morning, I noticed I haven't been carrying it. Flummoxed. Truly. I can only surmise that I was hiding from my writing. Or that I was ignoring it. Or that... well, you get the gist. 

I haven't written for awhile. I took what I hoped would be the 'resting' time, but it doesn't seem to have done any good. Or perhaps it did. Perhaps that's why I 'happened' to notice my portfolio on the stand next to the computer. In plain sight. 

I can't imagine taking off a whole summer. For some authors, that's a book! For me, that's at least ten chapters! 

Time to get back to work. And that is what it is. If I am truly going to consider myself an author. Nora Roberts said, on CBS Sunday Morning, that writing is hard work. It didn't used to be. It used to be all fun. Well, not quite. I must admit I've shed a number of tears over the years as I've written. Sometimes because I've killed off a character I like. Sometimes because I've grown and had to leave behind some treasured friends. Sometimes because I have been and always will be, I'm not kidding myself on this one, I've been bored with a character or a story, or I've been scared to delve deeper, or I've been stumped and the Muse isn't talking.

I think this latest slump has many roots. I'm not going to bother trying to find out which root got lost or stuck or poisoned. I'm going to work on the whole tree. 

Starting with my health and my life choices. 

I read some great stuff, during this hiatus. I'll share them with you tomorrow. Blessings in the mean time.

Life is 3-D complicated.

Hanging My Head

I went to class today with nothing to present. Of course, the teacher always asks, if we don't send something. Today was no different. Except - she didn't have anything either. Only two of our little troupe of peeps wrote. One of the girls showed us her drawings for a PB she's working on. That was fun to see. One of our tribe showed us two rejection letters. They were both lovely, if one can call being rejected, lovely. One was a form letter but there it was signed, not stamped, and had a thank-you circled on it. We all decided this was a good thing. That it meant the editor was up to receiving more from our classmate. At the end of the letter was a ps that the editor was now accepting email manuscripts. We were all excited for her. She writes lovely PB's. I so pray she gets published. The other letter explained in detail that the firm has a book being sold in 2014 with the exact same premise as our classmates.' Fascinating, huh!

I'm hoping, once summer is over and sleepovers are few and far between, that I'll be able to focus on my writing. I have a delightful little porch that I can sit on and write. A comfortable chair and a great view. Not enough. Drat it all.

I've not gone through something like this before. I had a stutter in November of last year, but this is a full blown stoppage. I'm not even, most days, thinking about my stories. It is an unpleasant feeling. 

A dear friend, whom I've been encouraging to get back to writing, has. She called me yesterday, filled with excitement and joy, and told me she is doing media advertising and voice-overs. She's so happy to be writing again. She exuded life. And isn't that what writing does to us? Why don't I remember this and grasp life again and write? *heavy sigh*

My little one has her own blog. She's all of six and is as creative as can be. I'm so proud of her. Today, she wrote a poem. Tomorrow, I'll be taking photos of her fashion clothes that she's creating for Pippin, the dog.
http://kikiskorner04.blogspot.com/

Life is sigh-filled.

Procrastinating?

I'm beginning to wonder if my 'cleaning' of my office is my way of skirting the writing issue. I'm not writing. I can't stand it, but I'm not. And I don't seem to be inclined to write. 

Life has been hectic, of late, but hectic is normal, isn't it? I don't know a soul who sits around eating bonbons and popping grapes. 

I have class tomorrow, and for the very first time, I had to write the group and say I would not present. This is horrid. I could run over to 'The Other Side' and send off a chapter, but I've not looked at it for about two weeks. I think that would not be useful for me or my classmates. 

I've not even edited 'Blue' for a couple days. Wondering if that has anything to do with knowing that it is going to be critiqued at the September SCBWI conference. Am I scared? Well, getting critiqued is always scary. Getting critiqued at an SCBWI event is even scarier. The stakes are higher. I've sent it off to a real agent who will be attending. Yikes! What if she doesn't like it? What if she hasn't a clue as to what I'm talking about? What if she likes it? Whoo hoo!

I am soooooo trying not to have expectations - good or bad. The conference is almost eight weeks away. I'll be a basket case by the time I sit down with this woman. Oh well. I will survive.

Having terrible times with my computer. It's as slow as molasses. I keep getting weird error messages. My printer won't work. My tablet says it's not connected to the internet even though I'm sitting right next to the wi-fi hook up thingee. 

Thankfully, I have a dear man who is coming over on Wednesday. He set up my computer in the first place. I told him all my troubles and he says he can fix them. Bless his heart.

Well, that's about all for now. Except for a quick thanks to my friend Margaret for her prayers for my computer to work.

And a very happy birthday to my buddy in Ireland - Gesine - you rock!!!! Happiest of days.

Life is birthday cakes.