I haven't been cooking lately. It's hard to cook when you're only one and you've been used to cooking for five. Or even two. I'm not sure why, but I've started back at it. I made some fried chicken. It didn't turn out at all like my 'old' friend chicken. I used the wrong herbs. I made egg salad the other day. It was soupy. Soupy is not good for egg salad. Especially if you put it on toast. Soggy toast is not fun toast. I almost gave up.
My little one is here for the night. School is out for the US Thanksgiving break. I made fried chicken tonight. She loved it. I also made a cauliflower casserole. She hates cauliflower so I hid it with a nice dose of butter and a couple handfuls of grated cheddar cheese. I didn't expect her to eat it. She loved it! Success! She like the fried chicken, too. Cooked in just a dollop of olive oil with a sprinkling of seasoning - the right stuff this time. She cleaned her plate.
Then, we ate cookies that we bought at the hospital. My little one's cast came off today. (She also lost her top front tooth!). A day of firsts. The cookies were made by the staff - donations were for the cancer center. They made a very nice ending to an odd (and slightly fear-filled) day. She's now asleep with her cast-free arm. Very happy to be able to sleep the 'old' way without pillows and such propping up her arm. Life is good.
I vow to continue to cook. Tomorrow the little one and I are going to try our hand at pumpkin pie (saints preserve us!). I know I can do it. I just have to trust myself. The problem with the eggs were that I knew the sauce was too thin but didn't trust myself. I should have stopped with the 2nd dollop of mayonnaise. The same with the chicken. I shouldn't have used the herbs I did. I stopped and questioned myself, but I went on and made the mistake.
Same for writing. I vow to write everyday. I used to. I didn't need a vow to write. But I know I'm fighting things and must take a different path to my writing if I'm to continue and grow and love it again.
Success with the casserole and the chicken have raised my self-esteem again. The same is true with my writing. I will succeed one of these days. I've put the thought of publishing far into the back of my mind, for the nonce, so that I can renew the love.
Life is renewal.